2) Sanbrekka, day 31.

Day 31,

Everything flows.

Panta Rhei.

The eternal and obscure harmony that governs the world.

Panta Rhei.

Everything flows.

Except me.

Prisoner as I am in this eternal rejection of becoming.

I came back twice in the same river.

I repeat myself, forever and ever.

I always return at the same time, to the same river. I do not change, I do not flow.

The river continues to flow, the sea continues to vary, the changeable world continues to alter, the impetuous universe continues to evolve.

Everything moves, and nothing stands still.

But I'm still here.

Until you return.

I am here.

A miserable man frozen in a moment. A picture of what I was and what I will be.

Why aren’t you here anymore? I cannot remember it.

I miss your warm and fragrant breath. But now you're gone, and I do not know why.

But Timo still preserves and protects our bond, even if frayed, knotted, dirty, and silent, it still exists. He is unchanging.

I love you. And that will be so forever.

I will not become until you return.

Excuse me, my thoughts are so confusing and nebulous, but who am I really? I hope to find out soon.

Let's go back now to the cold and insensitive reality: the lighthouse.

The lighthouse exists!

I had lost hope, but I was wrong.

It has never felt so good to be wrong.

It's a lighthouse like I've never seen before: There's a huge dark stone, probably fallen from one of the floating mountains, on a shore of rocks, pebbles, and snow. Along the walls of this stone there is an intricate walkway of dusky wood and a complex system of pulleys, dangling in the wind.

On the top of the stone there is snowy turf supported by other walkways, and underneath, there are other passages. A tree protects the place with a trunk of bluish hues and a thick, blood-red foliage covered with a blanket of snow and a few timid lianas descending from the branches.

Some structures, built with this dark, blue-veined wood arise at the end of the passage, with solid, round shapes, and countless perfectly symmetrical round windows. All completely dark.

The lighthouse sits, holding its breath on the edge of the furious abyss. The central body is round and solid, almost like it was crafted from a single colossal trunk of wood, with the base covered by a northern-style carving. The central part has a small footbridge leading from the roof of the largest building to the lighthouse. The lighthouse itself stands atop a huge terraced circular platform.

Contrary to all the solidity of the previous structures, it seems totally out of place. It is a harmonic, sinuous, and polished black stone structure, almost as if it were made of obsidian. A sort of huge “C” shape is crossed by an elongated “comma”, and at its center, there is a kind of lantern made of crystal glass, firmly anchored to the structure.

From the lantern comes that strange light, almost ethereal and unnatural, but so warm and inviting.

I would love to enter into that light.

It's a siren light; it calls me sweetly, and it is irresistible.

A village, apparently abandoned, rises from the side; a strange union of styles that recalls the Scandinavian villages of centuries past. Behind it, there is a dark, menacing mountain that challenges the clouds.

Everything is extremely cold and covered with a thick blanket of snow.

We must be very far to the north.

I would love to know where we are.

Returning to my new passenger, she does not seem very well, unfortunately.

Her fever has abated, somewhat, but she is still very weak.

Her rest is tormented by a deep anguish, and she often begins to scream in her sleep: silent, agonizing screams.

Timo is always there to comfort and protect her, and she has unconsciously started to hold him closer to her.

I would like to do more, but I do not know what.

Her leg remains very swollen and I fear that it’s broken as a large ring hematoma has formed.

Poor girl.

So much injustice even in this strange place.

When I find her awake, she is staring at the ceiling of the bunk, in silence.

Sometimes crying. Even if not in my presence.

In these moments, I try to help her eat some hot soup.

I solemnly promise to take care of you, little girl.

No one will have to suffer any more in my presence.

I will be a sponge to the pain.

I will be the only one who has to bring darkness inside.

I will be the only one whose soul has to burn forever.

You all will flow. You have to.

Everything flows,

Panta Rhei.